hehe. I feel like I wasted my summer because I didn't do anything truly meaningful. I slept, ate, cleaned up a little, went to church, taught my Bible class and went to my part-time job. Basically, I existed. I feel like I let God down by not contributing anything BIG (for lack of a better word) to His kingdom. I know I contributed by teaching my 2's and 3's about Elijah, David and other Biblical characters but sometimes I feel like I was just going through the motions. In retrospect, I look back and see that it wasn't a summer spent on fire for Him. It was just....a summer. I went through a bad break-up and I am preparing for college ,my excuses to soothe myself don't judge me :). At the beginning of the summer I wanted to volunteer at a pregnancy crisis center, raise money for BloodWater and begin to sew pillowcase dresses for a children's clothing ministry. Now as my summer is coming to an end I realize that I have not done any of it...Eek! It's a bad feeling but I feel that God has led me to look at my goals that I had that beginning of the summer and discover what went wrong. Too many distractions. I spent too much time looking at the Word instead of living it. As I write this the Scriptures that God immediately impressed upon my mind were in the first chapter of James (NIV):
:
23Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like a man who looks at his face in a mirror 24and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. 25But the man who looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues to do this, not forgetting what he has heard, but doing it—he will be blessed in what he does.
As I venture onto a secular college campus I am grateful there are clubs in which Christians can fellowship. I know God is the one who truly holds us accountable but I think I will fare better as I enter this new season in my life (away from home, living with a friend) if I also have a friend as an accountability partner that can encourage me to stick to my goals. I am still nervous about moving away from home because I am unsure if I made the right decision..More on that later I just felt like venting.
As I read this post of yours, I literally did a double take. What you said about how you feel like your summer was a waste, going through a break-up, and preparing to go to a secular college pretty much sums up my summer too. I too wanted to do something great for God... I even signed up to volunteer at the Pregnancy Crisis Center near my house! I did get to do some of that, and it was a blessing, but not any counseling--- yet. While I did get to spend more time reading my Bible than usual with all the down-time of my lazy summer... I still feel like I sort-of let God down. Now the summer is over and I'm about to start school and will be crazy busy. But, I do see starting school as a great opportunity to minister to others. We can be salt and light to a dark world, Schy! God has blessed us with the light of His gospel.... how thankful we should be because NARROW is the gate we have entered into! We can do great things for God NOW! Just thought I'd encourage you :)
ReplyDeleteI too want to live God's Word instead of just reading it. May He grant you grace to do just that! God bless you as you start this new season of life called "college"
Oh... and ROLL TIDE! :)
-Holly (Point Of View)